Jumping the gun

Two days ago was my brother's birthday. So we all went and had dinner and had fun. Most of the way coming back, all I could think of was how much I miss having someone by my side.

Okay. Not that I've ever had someone by my side. But it was all I could think about. That was so weird.

I guess what started the thought was that I was joking about some people beating their wives. know, strange sense of humor. So then my Dad said something about me and my non-existent future wife, and then I said that I would never actually have a wife. Then, my brother joked that would you have a husband then? And I said yes. And he thought I was joking, he pretended to freak out and we moved on, joking about other stuff.

So even thought I am yet to even have a first boyfriend, that's all I thought about on the way home. And sent the whole night obsessing about it too.

And most of yesterday.

Damn. I need a project.

Gimme a break

I think I need to go somewhere for a while. Even if it for a few days. I think I need a break from my life.

To go to a place where no one knows my name.

See what it feels like to be alone for once.

Since I've been off for so long I feel stifled in some way. I know it's wrong for me to think that, but I just think I need a break from my life.

I think I need to grow up a little.

Need a break from being me for a few days.

Maybe that's what I need.

I hope I can do that this month.

Otherwise I might just go crazy.

Oscar Censorship

So I was watching the repeat telecast of the Oscar ceremony on Monday. No, I didn't care for Slumdog. I wanted to see the speeches made by Lance and Sean who won for Milk

So, the channel broadcasting it in India, Star Movies, decided to censor parts of the speeches made by both the winners.

The channel is owned by Rupert Murdoch and 20th Century Fox.

This is the same channel who censored Brokeback Mountain to such an extent that it appeared to be a movie about two cowboys who set up camp on a mountain.

Well, as long as we have the internet.

Really. I want to do something about it. But there is nothing I can do that will actually talk some sense into them.

*****

So Dev Patel, the star of Slumdog, finally met Angelina Jolie. Although, there was this awkward moment when she tried to adopt him.

Sorry. I just could not resist.

The Reason

Okay. So I had another blog. I got to know quite a few people who read that blog. Now I miss being able to blog anonymously.

I'm tired of people trying to judge me.

So here it is.

My thoughts. Uncensored. Uncut.

Okay. That is not supposed to have a sexual meaning.

Right.

I need to stop doing that.

You can still judge me.

But at least we won't have a fifteen minute discussion over it on g-chat.

Days of my life

I sometimes just shudder to think about the turns my life is taking. The past year has been great and I have discovered myself, the real me, but there are days where I feel I should go back to work. Then there are days when I feel that I should stic to what I love doing.

But then I don't know if I can ever attract the audience I actually want to. But then I feel maybe I'm not doing this right.

******

I think I need to get over myself and at least try to start dating. I joined a site a few months ago. But I found just one person who I liked. I messaged him but I never heard back from him. And my ego stops me from sending him another one. Anyways, I am too scared to even put my picture up on any site. Yes, I'm gay and I have low self esteem. Way to go on rejecting the stereotype.

I feel that if people get to know the real me, they will run like hell.Also, I think of myself as a very ugly person. hat's why I'm still a virgin @ 26. Seriously, my life is a big mistake and someone should just put me out of my misery. Or maybe I have o suffer this agony for another few decades. uh-oh.

I'm sp glad no one reads this blog.

The one with the Pros & Cons list

So though we had decided and informed ourselves that we are over him, some particles of our crush on him still, errr.. remain. So here we list out the pros and cons of why he is not for us. Cons mainly. Basically a specification on why he sucks.


a) It's not the economy, it's the ass, stupid- I mean it's squeezed in. It's not that prominent and frankly, we this is a major turn off.

b) Too bottomish? - I mean he's a total pussy when it comes to anything. Even if the idiot was gay, which he is, he'll be too afraid to admit it. Though, would've been a great bottom. Or top. Dunno. Fuck!!

c) He's Mr Status Quo - He's one of those people who have been bought up with the knowledge of never trying to take on the system or never challenging the status quo. He's from a working family and does not have the balls to be a rebel. So that downgrades him even more. What I'm trying to say is that the boy's got no balls.

So that's what we got. The first point is not that valid and the other two basically are part 1 and part 2 of the same thing. God Damn.

However, though we have a crush on Mr grow-a-pair we think that we would make a disastrous couple. He's one of those people who have been born to live on a paycheck from month to month, have three kids and then retire with a not-so-large pension. He's not that ambitious really. Not those kinds who would end up with a hedge fund or all the stockholders money. Nothing like us. He's more likely one of those people who lose money in the stock market as soon as they retire.
Also, we liked him cause we felt some sparks. Thinking about it know, we can safely assume it was the alcohol or the marijuana. Or both. We'll never know. Life is mysterious like that sometimes.

And even though we want to fuck him so hard his eyes pop out, we really don't want to deviate him from his destiny. Or confuse him. So we are going to be gracious and benevolent and forget him.

Sigh. Another one bites the dust.

Responsibilty Sucks

What is with people that they suddenly expect you to be responsible when you grow up? I can never get it. Just because you reach a certain age people set standards for your behavior. Like, suddenly we are now adults. We need to be like all prim and propah. Be drunk only at weekends and wear a tie to meetings. Along with pants. Dammit. It's such a pain. And just because you tell your employees to talk to your hand you are suddenly are branded immature and childish. Dude, what's wrong with being immature and childish? And people roll their eyes when you wear shorts to work. Am I the only one who actually knows it's summer already? Responsibility is overrated. Why do I need to act like someone I'm not?

You're living your life, trying to have fun, trying to get drunk and complete your project report at the same time and just when you finish the first part, you get arrested. How does that give everyone and their uncle an excuse to lecture you on responsibility? I mean, is there a prozac shortage or sunfin? Have I missed a memo that was sent around? Gee.... Whiz...... Get a life, people. Live a fuckin little.